Get your mind out of the gutter, perv.

Okay, the Olivia Newton-John single is very giggle-worthy. Let’s watch it to get all that snickering out of our systems:

Fantastic. Now we’ll move on, okay?

Since I’m trying to be more grownup in other aspects of my life (oh, hello, corporate job), I decided to suck it up and try to get over my gym phobia. Other motivating factors: my ongoing weight-loss attempts and my corporate discount.

Primary reasons I used to avoid gyms: 1) I don’t like sweating; 2) I don’t like being so close to other people–I suspect they’re judging my lack of athleticism and my poor form.

Pseudo-Grownup Me realizes that #1 can’t really be avoided. Actually, it would be unhealthy if I didn’t sweat. But we could work on the self-consciousness problems at the root of #2.

The big thing I had to acknowledge was that membership gyms are not the same as middle school/high school gyms. Thank goodness. Gym teachers aren’t walking around, correcting my form. The other people working out are not the same chumps as my middle school/high school classmates. They’re too in their own zones to be judging me. And if they are looking at me, they’re much more discreet about it than adolescent punks and aren’t going to say it to my face. There are definitely some perks to adulthood.

The elliptical and I are friendly. I’m trying to like the treadmill more. My gym membership came with two complimentary sessions with one of the in-house personal trainers, and the trainer I had was remarkably non-judgmental while still identifying areas for improvement. The weights section is still intimidating with a lot of beefcake and grunting (I don’t belong to one of those grunt-free places), but at least I’ve made my peace with the cardio area.

I often run into coworkers, who put me to shame in the fitness department (I’m gleaming with sweat on my treadmill while So-and-So runs on hers without missing a beat), and I still don’t feel stronger, or more fit, or skinnier, though the number on the scale is definitely lower than it was a few months back. But I only started going to the gym a few weeks ago, so I guess expecting dramatic results is unrealistic.

If you think I’ve changed into a different person, with all this gym and weight loss talk, rest assured that I’m currently in New York visiting my family for Christmas and as always, there’s delicious food. I’d be a fool to abstain.

Happy holidays, all.

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